UK Football Weekend Preview
Written by: Gerry McDonnell (23-September-2006)

I am not the type of person who makes critical comments about a person’s individual beliefs, but anyone who visits a clairvoyant should be institutionalised. The wife is a good example, when I questioned why she frequently throws her money away on such an clear scam, she screamed, “It is not a con, Zelda does not even charge, she just requests a voluntary £10 contribution.” If she were any slower she would stop.

I am a huge sceptic of all things ‘supernatural’, although I must admit to being slightly anxious when I received a videotape that came with a warning: ‘If you watch this, within seven days you will die’. It turned out it was a whole episode of Soccer AM, and boredom related deaths were a real possibility.

There are some people like the wife who think that Arsenal’s new home is cursed. Even if the Emirates stadium were constructed on top of an Indian burial ground, with a tribe of Indians actually present at the time, there is only one feasible result when Sheffield United roll into town. Back the Gunners at a tiny 1.20 odds.

If anyone ought to be charging for psychic hallucinations, it must be Roy ‘I see dead people’ Keane. The former Manchester United hard-man declared before the Arsenal match that Wayne Rooney had done nothing in the match; Wayne’s show placed an exclamation mark at the end of Roy’s sentence. The tubster will be looking to get back to his form when Man United visit the Madejski stadium to take on Reading; Man Utd will win at a massive 1.53 odds.

Steve Coppell notoriously completed an economics degree while playing for Man United; a hugely impressive accomplishment, most modern day footballers cannot count to 21 without thoughts of Maria Sharapova. (I get to only 20 ½.) Even the numerically gifted Reading coach could have trouble keeping score, United are a worth a bet at 6.00 odds to score four goals or more.

Jose Mourinho’s decision to start Lampard, Ballack, Makelele and Essien in the Chelsea midfield has even upset my wife, I overheard her on the telephone to her mother complaining about a severe lack of width. Ballack’s suspension for stomping over Sissoko might be a blessing in disguise for Chelsea, I like the Champions at 1.44 wagering odds to leave Fulham with all three points.

After maintaining the media were wrong to criticize Frank Lampard, Mourinho then robbed him of his penalty taking role. The last time a Lamp was rubbed up the wrong way in a comparable manner was when I had a bit part in Aladdin. We had both had a few too many. With Michael Ballack out of commission, Lampard is 6/1 odds to score from the penalty spot.

You cannot fancy Spurs to depart Liverpool with anything but a thrashing. Tottenham have scored in only one league game this season, yet Martin Jol, the Popeye look-alike, refuses to play Jermain Defoe, the goal-getter extraordinaire. Spurs haven not won a Premiership game at Anfield since 1993, a bet on Tottenham to break that trend would be the dearest mistake since Chris Tarrant gave a school teacher a fourth lifeline. If Tottenham win this game, I will stop betting and move to Iraq; Liverpool are the tip of the weekend at 1.67 odds.

It is a bit of a gamble for first goal scorer bettors, but the answer my friend, is blowing in the wind: Dirk Kuyt is a nice price at 5/1 odds.

Blackburn played Middlesbrough three times last season, and won all three matches. (Two of those games were at the Riverside.) Keep in mind though, just like with women, previous results are no indicators of future returns. I am pleased to make an exception with Blackburn at a big price of 3.50 odds.

Benni McCarthy is a good tip in the first goalscorer betting. At 29 years old, one might think that Benni is at a turning point in his career; you will get decent odds for your money at 8/1.

Glenn Roeder needed to apologise to West Ham supporters this week, and amazingly, it was not for relegating their squad of star players. Everton have allowed 18 goals in their last six trips to St James’s Park; another Newcastle United win temps at 2.25 odds.

I feel bad for Harry Redknapp, he has been the subject of more investigations than the 118-118 chaps, but it has not affected Portsmouth’s start to the season. Bolton have departed Fratton Park with a point on their last two trips there. Bet on another draw at 3.25 odds.

It is confession time; I have wagered on the USA to recover the Ryder Cup. I am not a great fan of the Americans as a rule; their national sport is baseball, they call British Bulldogs ‘football’, and most irritatingly of all, their sportsmen have a penchant for thanking Jesus 38 times whenever they successfully put a ball in a hole or run a hundred yards without falling over.

For all their blemishes, it is an undisputable fact that US golfers are better than European ones. Europe are favoured for the Ryder Cup due to recent history, but if school has taught us anything, it is that history doesn’t matter. The USA are still backable at 2.38 odds; that is the real definition of value.

The accumulator of the week:

The combo this week is so strong; George Galloway, George Bush, Gerry Adams and Ian Paisley are thinking about uniting to show their support. Liverpool, Aston Villa, Chelsea, Blackburn and Manchester United are the chosen bets, the payout is an attractive 20/1 odds.

Weekend British Soccer Betting:

Liverpool v Tottenham

Liverpool		1.67
Draw			3.60
Tottenham		5.50

Bet on: Liverpool

Match Special:
Liverpool to retain a clean sheet	2.20

Arsenal v Sheff Utd

Arsenal		1.20
Draw			6.00
Sheff Utd		17.00

Bet on: Arsenal

Match Special:
Cesc Fabregas to score a goal	4.33

Aston Villa v Charlton

Aston Villa		1.80
Draw			3.50
Charlton		5.00

Bet on: Aston Villa

Match Special: 
Aston Villa to win the match 2-0	8.00

Fulham v Chelsea	

Fulham		8.50
Draw			14.33
Chelsea		1.44

Bet on: Chelsea

Match Special:
John Terry to score a headed goal	9.00

Man City v West Ham

Man City		2.25
Draw			3.25
West Ham		3.10

Bet on: West Ham

Match Special: 
West Ham to score three goals or more	7.50	

Middlesbrough v Blackburn

Middlesbrough	2.10
Draw			3.25
Blackburn		3.50

Bet on: Blackburn

Match Special:
Benni McCarthy to score the only goal	51.00

Wigan v Watford

Wigan			1.91
Draw			3.30
Watford		4.50

Bet on: Draw

Match Special:
No goal scorer in the match	9.00

Reading v Man Utd	
Live on Premiership Plus

Reading		7.00
Draw			3.75
Man Utd		1.53

Bet on: Man Utd

Match Special: 
Wayne Rooney to score two goals or more	5.50

Newcastle v Everton		

Newcastle		2.25
Draw			3.25
Everton		3.25

Bet on: Newcastle

Match Special:
Obafemi Martins to score the first goal	7.50

Portsmouth v Bolton	

Portsmouth		2.00
Draw			3.25
Bolton			4.00	

Bet on: Draw

Match Special:
Game to finish 1-1	6.50